Sandyman
Hello? Yeah, it's Sandyman. Hello--who's this? I'm from the band. Sandyman. From the band? Yeah. How ya doin'? How can I help you? I'm good! I gotta platinum card, a brand new one, and I'm lookin' to have a little fun tonight. All right. So, what's on tap? What do I have on tap? Yeah! Uh, I got twelve beers on tap. I got Bud Light, Budweiser, Michelob Ultra, Heineken, Guinness, Flat Tire, George Killian's Red, Pabst, you know, I got Hefeweizen, New Castle, Harps, and Blue Moon. You guys want to, uh, get slapped or what? Do we wanna get slapped? Yeah. ' Naw, I don't wanna get slapped. '''You ever heard of Sandyman, the band? ' Sandyman? Can't say I have. 'Tell ya what? Why don't you take my platinum card number and just get things runnin' a little bit for me. ' Uh, yeah, well, we need to have the card present. '''Guys lookin' to get slapped? Or... Well, we need to have the card present. What, you want my stripe? Uh, I don't know what you're talkin' about, buddy. Oh, I'm ready to give you my digits and my stripe and my credits. ''' I understand, but I need to have the card present. '''Unlimited credit access in my stripe, in your establishment, with my rhyme. Comprende? Or... Yeah, I understand, buddy. Oh, really? ' I'm really busy, so... '''Why don't you MapQuest how to get here and then we can work it out? ' MapQuest to get to where? 'To my location. ' You know what buddy, I'm really busy, dude. I don't have time to be messing with you. 'Oh, why don't you tell me directions to get there, then? ' Nah, you know what, buddy? Lose my number. Lose my number. Stop calling me. --- Hello? 'Howdy, it's Sandy. ' I'm busy, dude. Ok? '''What's shakin'? I'm busy buddy, stop calling me. Wanna butt slap, or what? I'm serious. I'm telling you, I'm gonna call my buddy, I'm gonna have him trace this call, and I'm gonna find out who you are. So do me a favor, do yourself ''a favor, lose my number, don't call me. '''You wanna do a little butt slappin' tonight? Or... ' Listen to me, listen to me. Ok, this is very important that you pay attention. I'm not fucking with you and I don't have the patience for this shit. Ok? You need to cut this bullshit out. You're the one playin' games, my friend. ' You're the one playin' games, buddy. You're the one callin' me. Lose my fucking number. '''You wanna meet up with my vice grips or what? ' You know what? I have six cops sitting at my fucking bar, dude. Would you like to talk to one of them? 'No! ' All right, then shut the fuck up and stop calling me. I'm losing my fucking patience with you. 'I got a vice grips I'm gonna bring in there... ' Do you understand that I was a DEA agent? And I worked for the feds? So you're calling the ''wrong ''fucking number, dude. '''You're calling me! S.O.B. Listen to me. Hey, shithead. Lose my fucking number, you dumb fuck. I'm gonna call in some favors and bring a vice grips in there. Take your fucking medicine. Go take your medicine, all right? You dumb fuck. 'I'm gonna take you to trial, buddy. ' You're a fucking looney and lose my fucking number you dumb shit. Fucking idiot. 'Take you to a jury trial. ' Category:George Category:Alcohol Category:Bars and clubs